The Unseen Killer
by A. Heimby
Summary: McGee puts up with a lot and feels like there is no one standing behind him. He feels alone and ignored, and he is starting to feel the effects. No one was meant to live with such turmoil, McGee included. Who will be the one to lead Tim back out of the dark when he finds himself lost in it? Who will show Tim that he's not alone in the world, and most of all, on the team?
1. Chapter 1

He couldn't handle it anymore. He couldn't handle the loneliness, the feeling of rejection, or the feeling that nobody cared. He had been a part of the team for over nine years, shouldn't he feel like he belonged by now?

Tim had just been attacked at a crime scene, where two men jumped out from behind a hollowed out fridge that simply played the part of a hiding place, getting a gash across his right arm. He had been forced to fire, shooting the one with a knife in the foot, before tackling the other. When his team had come rushing into the room, guns drawn, it was to the sight of one man on the floor holding his foot and the other being handcuffed by McGee. He had just opened his mouth to tell them what had happened when Gibbs started to yell. "What the hell were you thinking McGee? You called clear! Do you know what the means, McGee? It means the room is clear, not that there are two men, one of which is armed with a gun, in the room!"

McGee felt the words like a blow to the gut as he tried to explain again, but was interrupted by Tony this time. "Ya Probie, you could have gotten one of us killed! Now what do you have to say for yourself?" McGee tried one last time to talk, but Tony never intended to let him get a word out as he pointed a finger at the door and said, "Just get out of here McGee. Go secure the crime scene, if you can do that right." Tony was his superior, and Gibbs made no move to say otherwise, so McGee gave up on talking and walked back out to the front of the house.

Ducky and Jimmy were waiting to be let in, since they had arrived at the house to take away a corpse when McGee noticed the lock had been picked. They had been told to wait for the all clear while the agents went in. As McGee approached the two Jimmy was going to ask what had happened but was distracted by the two men that where being marched out the front door by Gibbs and Tony. Palmer was sent inside to start with the body while Ducky was given the task of tending to the man's foot that had been shot. No one even acknowledged the wound on Tim's arm that was bleeding profusely.

When the two men where shoved into the back of one of the police car's that had shown up, and everyone else was inside, Tim got the first aid kit from the truck and dealt with his own wound as best he could. He had just put his coat back on when he heard Gibbs yell angrily, "McGee, get your ass in here now and do your job!" Even though he had been told to stay outside by Tony he figured it was best to disobey an old order, rather than a new one, so he grabbed the camera and headed inside.

McGee made sure to capture every inch of the crime scene, including the hollowed out fridge, and by the end of it was wincing every time he snapped a picture. He figured he could go to the hospital and get it checked out on his lunch break so he wouldn't get into any more trouble. When he had finished with the pictures he was on his way out the door when Gibbs called him back and told him to help Ducky and Palmer with the body, taking the camera out of his hands. McGee sighed inwardly but did as he was told; what he was paid for. Even though it put him through excruciating pain, he still helped carry the body to the autopsy truck.

As they were separating to go to the two vehicles Tim tried to tell his team again that he had been hurt, and was hoping to stop by the hospital, but when he opened his mouth to talk Gibbs simply pointed at the car, so McGee obediently got in, and didn't say a word.

He didn't understand why his team seemed to hate him so much; why they would treat him like this after so many years, but after a while he wrote it off as some fault of his own. He figured he must have done something to deserve this treatment; to deserve his team's hatred, to deserve Gibbs'.

The drive back to the Navy Yard was silent and things were tense. Everyone could feel it, but no one said anything, preferring to ignore it and hope it went away. Tim simply gazed out the window, trying to ignore the pain he was in. He was looking forward to getting back so he could go get his arm checked out and have some peace to think away from his team. He knew at best it would take his whole lunch hour but he didn't really care, not feeling in the mood to eat anyway. He was never in the mood to eat anymore, as had become obvious over the last few years when he dropped quite a bit of weight.

When they got back Gibbs started giving out orders, and Tim lost any hope of getting his lunch break as Gibbs told them he wanted an update in two hours. Being the good agent he was he set to work the second he sat at his desk, and even though his typing was hampered quite a bit, he still had everything he needed when Gibbs strode into the room a few hours later demanding answers.

Tim, who had found a minute to change his shirt, found himself playing with his sleeve as he updated his boss, and was startled when Tony blurted in annoyance, "Stop playing with your arm McFidget, you're distracting me." He wanted to defend himself but came up short when his boss glared at him, clearly saying to move on, so McGee handed the remote to DiNozzo and took a step back.

His team seemed to have very little patience for him that day so he simply tried to become invisible so he wouldn't bother them again. As he watched them discussing the case he felt a feeling wash over him that had become more and more frequent and long lasting. He felt a heart wrenching loneliness that made his heart hurt. He felt like everyone he knew hated him, even strangers on the street, and worse a small part of his brain kept insisting he deserved it.

Tim's mind had wandered into the depths of pain and darkness that he tried so hard to keep at bay, but found it harder and harder to do. He was only pulled out of it when Tony delivered a head slap saying, "Probie, stop day dreaming and help us figure out who killed our Lance Corporal." Unbeknownst to Tony, the head slap caused McGee to raise his hand to rub the back of his head, only the second Tim moved it a sharp pain ran from his arm to his spine, taking the breath out of him.

Tim tried to breathe, tried to hide his pain from Tony and Gibbs, but found that instead of his breathing getting better, it was getting worse. He felt the panic attack coming before it hit and managed a groan of annoyance, this was the worst possible time for a panic attack, but it was just something he couldn't will away.

He vaguely felt his knees hitting the floor as his vision spotted then went dark. His last thought before passing out was that the boss was going to be pissed at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs was trying his best to keep his emotions straight as the day wore on, but found he was snapping at anybody and everybody. In fact, he had been doing that a lot lately. He had been unable to sleep properly for weeks and it was taking its toll. He was having trouble concentrating and nothing annoyed him more.

When he heard what sounded like a small gasp behind him, coming from Tim, he turned in annoyance, thinking he would see Tony pretending he didn't just head slap the other agent, but instead found Tim trying his hardest to stay on his feet and breathe, with Tony looking at his Probie like a deer caught in headlights, hand still in the air.

Gibbs paused for a second wondering what could have happened in the half second but quickly rushed forward to catch McGee as he fell to his knees, still unable to catch his breath, and clutching his right arm in pain. Gibbs was grateful as his mind cleared for the first time in a long time, and ordered Tony to call Ducky. Tony jumped into action just as McGee slumped forward into Gibbs' arms unconscious. That was when Gibbs noticed the red that was coming through McGee's shirt sleeve, and swearing at his own carelessness, realised Tim had been trying to tell him about his arm since it had happened that morning.

Gibbs put his ear to Tim's chest, trying to see if he was breathing, as well as listening for his heartbeat. He was relieved to hear both, but Tim's breathing was too shallow for his liking. He was grateful when he heard the ding of the elevator and saw Ducky and Jimmy rushing toward them. Ducky wasted no time in laying McGee out on the floor and checking his vitals, noticing the gash quickly, while he instructed Palmer to try and bring Timothy back into the conscious world.

It wasn't long before McGee was gasping for breath and sitting up. Gibbs, overwhelmed by his relief, stood up and started pacing between his and McGee's desk. Ducky was focused on Tim's arm, as was Jimmy, so neither saw the fearful look he was sending his boss. Even Tony was too focused on watching Gibbs pace to notice the odd reaction.

Ducky stood up after a few moments, instructing Jimmy to help Timothy to his feet, then turned to Gibbs, who stopped dead in his tracks, his full focus on the Doctor. "Jethro, Timothy needs to be brought to the hospital. He needs stiches, and his wound is in great danger of becoming infected. He should have been taken right after getting this gash."

Gibbs felt his emotions taking over as he took a few steps toward Tim, taking his face in his hands, and in quiet frustration saying, "Why didn't you tell me to take you to the hospital Tim? Or at least go down and see Ducky?"

There was a silent moment as people looked at Tim expectantly before he whispered, "I tried to tell you. When no one would listen I figured I'd just take myself, but I haven't gotten a chance to." He looked down as best he could as he said, "I didn't want to mess up again and make you angry, and I knew my getting injured would just get in the way of the investigation."

The second Tim's words had reached his brain Gibbs felt his anger rising again, anger at himself for letting Tim get hurt in the first place but most of all for letting Tim think that he didn't care about him getting hurt, that a case would ever be more important than his wellbeing. "Dammit Tim, you should have told me, should have made me listen."

Tim flinched back at the anger that was in Gibbs' voice, the anger on his face. He knew he shouldn't have told, not that they found out on purpose, but now Gibbs was angry with him. Tim felt a frown pulling down on the corners of his mouth as he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry."

The breath was taken out of Jethro at Tim's words, at the implications. Words rarely had an effect on him, but Tim's felt like a blow to the stomach as well as a knife to the heart. The young man was apologizing, not only for getting hurt, but for the anger he thought it caused his boss. Gibbs didn't know what to say to make Tim understand his anger wasn't at him, but he himself, all he managed to say was a quiet, "Tim", before Ducky was interrupting, reminding everyone that Timothy had to be brought to a hospital right away.

Tony wasted no time in grabbing his stuff and heading to the elevator with a quick, "I'll pull my car around." The second the words were out of his mouth he continued past the elevator, choosing to go down the stairs instead.

Before Gibbs could try again McGee started losing consciousness, as the day caught up with him, and by the time the door closed behind Tony he was slumped forward into Gibbs. For a second he just stood there, holding Tim up, as he tried to once again reign in his emotions, but he quickly received a text from Tony saying he was down and waiting, so Gibbs decided he would simply push them aside briefly while he got Tim down to Tony's car.

When he had his agent secured in the back seat, with the help of Jimmy and Ducky, he slid in beside the unconscious man, and with a thank you to the two coroners he and Tony were headed to the hospital.

Gibbs found himself taking his anger at himself out on Tony as he somewhat harshly asked the senior field agent, "Why didn't you tell me McGee was hurt, Tony?"

Tony frowned, he knew the boss was taking his anger out on him, but he also knew that part of the problem had been he himself doing the same to Probie. Quietly he told Gibbs, "I didn't notice. You had me doing the work of two agents, and I was preoccupied." What he didn't say was that he was picking up his bad mood from his boss, and taking it out on McGee. He knew accusing his boss would only make him angrier, and in turn make his boss have more to take out on him. Tony was already beating himself up enough for not noticing he wasn't the only one the boss had been doing that to, so he didn't want to add more fuel to the fire if it wasn't only him getting burned.

Unknown to each other, they both vowed in that moment to try and keep their anger in check. It wasn't lost on them that Tim had taken it personally. They also both decided to stay silent for the rest of the ride to the hospital, knowing they would only make things worse if they said anything in that moment. Neither was in a very good state of mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony and Gibbs both found themselves staring at the doors McGee was rushed through upon their arrival. It wasn't until a nurse came by and gently led them to the waiting room that they sat down. For a while, they said nothing, but when a nurse came out to inform them of some complications with McGee, they had no choice but to talk. They both needed someone, and in that moment they only had each other, so once the nurse had walked away Tony turned to Gibbs and asked, "He is going to be okay, right Boss?"

Gibbs rubbed his mouth as he looked over at Tony before quietly saying, "I don't know Tony. I don't even know all of his injuries, and judging from what little he said back at the office, it isn't the physical ones we have to worry about."

Looking sadly at his hands clasped between his knees, Tony all but whispered, "But we are here for him, whether he realized that back there or not, we are. Do you think that will make the difference? That if we show him that we're here, that we've always been here, he might feel better?"

Gibbs smiled sadly at his agent as he all but whispered, "I hope it does DiNozzo, I really hope it does." Deep down he knew it wouldn't be that simple though, it never was, most of all when it came to the mind and its perceptions.

It wasn't until hours later, after Ducky, Jimmy, and Abby had all arrived, with the included surprise of Vance, that the doctor came out calling for the family of Timothy McGee. They all stepped forward and even though the Doctor gave them a strange look he said nothing. He could see the worry in their eyes and figured at least one of them had the right to know the information, and had no doubt they would all know soon after, so he decided to just cut out the middle man. Besides, he was pretty sure they were federal agents; at least some of them, if going off his patient's credentials were anything.

Clearing his throat the Doctor started. "I am Timothy's Doctor, Dr. Knewmen, and first I would like to inform you that he is stable, and I expect a full recovery after some physiotherapy for his right arm." After seeing the relief flood the faces of those in front of him he continued. "Now, it would appear that he got a rather gruesome cut to his upper right arm. The gash was so deep it nicked a bone, and although he lost a lot of blood, it is lucky he didn't lose more. The gash was in just the right place that it missed any vital veins. I have stitched that up and prescribed some pain killers as well as some antibiotics to avoid infection. He also seemed to have some bruising indicative of a fight but nothing an icepack and time can't heal." He took a deep breath before saying the part he knew from experience families did not react well too. "The thing that concerns me most though isn't anything physical. I've just finished talking to him and I'm worried about his state of mind."

Dr. Knewmen was surprised when no one said anything. For a second he thought they had somehow not heard him, at least until he looked closer at their faces. He could see sadness in every pair of eyes, as well as self-blame on a few of their faces. There was even one strange looking Goth girl who was silently crying and she was the one to ask the question he was waiting for. "What about Timmy's state of mind? What's wrong with Timmy?"

With a sad smile he told the odd group, "From the way he had been talking I was expecting to come out here and find no one. He thinks he's alone and it sounds like he thinks he deserves it. When I told him he was going to be just fine I saw no relief or joy, if anything I saw disappointment. Now, I've been doing this job for a long time, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think he was one of the attempted suicides that came through the ER." The doctor took a deep and sad breath before informing them. "I've placed a seventy two hour watch on him. Before I can sign him out he'll have to talk to a mental health professional at the hospital, and in all honesty, I doubt he'll be leaving here anytime soon without someone watching over him and taking responsibility for his care."

No one spoke at first. They had all realized Tim had seemed down as of recent, but they never would have suspected suicidal. Hell, they wouldn't have even thought him depressed. In that moment they all realized how good of an actor Tim truly was. When they really thought about it, they should have realized how little they really knew about him. They hadn't even known he had a sister until she wound up being framed for murder. He hadn't even come to them then until he had no other choice.

That was when Gibbs realized that out of all his agents, including ones in the past, McGee was the only one that had never come to him for help. He had always assumed it was because McGee had a good family, a father to go to for support, unlike his other agents, but he had learned how wrong he was about that. First with the appearance of Tim's grandmother, who had been a murder suspect, and had revealed that there was a rift between Tim and his father, and then with the appearance of Tim's father himself, who had also been a murder suspect, and proven as best he could to Tim's team that he was far from a supportive father. In fact, most of the team had left that experience thinking Tim had it the worst as far as fathers went, and that was not an easy thing to do with the fathers they all had.

Gibbs was pulled from his reverie by the doctor talking again. "He is in a room now and he can have visitors, but only one or two at a time. Although his injuries aren't an immediate danger, I'm afraid his mind is, and I don't want him being overwhelmed." When he received a nod from the group in general he turned around, throwing a "follow me" over his shoulder as he led them to Tim's room.

As they walked through the halls of the hospital they all found their minds elsewhere. Vance found himself musing over how he had missed this in the man he intended to groom to take his job one day, as well as musing over the fact every McGee they had so far met they had accused of murder, making him think it was no wonder the kid didn't have complete faith in them. They continuously tried to arrest his family members for murder.

Tony was thinking about every time he had went too far with a joke or prank, which in hind sight was almost all of them, and all the times he had made fun of the man he saw as a little brother. When Tony thought about his treatment of the man who had on more than one occasion saved his life, including literally pulling him from falling to his death, he felt like Gibbs slapping himself repeatedly. He should have made sure Tim understood that Tony just treated him like he would a brother. That it wasn't because he hated him or wanted to hurt him. He should have made sure Tim knew it was how he showed he cared.

Abby was yelling at herself in her head. For being so selfish and not seeing her best friend needed her. For not reminding Timmy every day how much he meant to her. She realized now that Tim had stopped coming to her for support a long time ago, and that it should have tipped her off that something was wrong. She had known that when Tim first joined the team, he had felt left out, and like he was unwanted, but she thought he had realized how important he was to the team by this point. When he had stopped talking about it she had assumed it was because he felt different. Now she could see she was horribly wrong. She could also see that when she stopped being Tim's support, no one else took her place, and that he had simply gone on from that point feeling alone and having no one to help.

Ducky and Jimmy where thinking pretty much the same thing. That they should have seen it before, not after when hind sight was twenty-twenty, but when it had become a problem. They had both noticed a change in the agent. They had noticed as he got quieter, and both had been concerned when he lost so much weight in such little time, but they had also assumed there was someone who wold take care of it, be it one of his team members, or someone from his personal life. They were kicking themselves now for ever making such assumptions and not confronting it themselves. They blamed themselves for their inaction.

Gibbs blamed himself for everything. It had been his job as team leader to make sure his agent was okay. He should have known something was wrong when McGee tried to hide his sister from them in fear for her wellbeing, or the way he never really talked about his family or child hood. The fact he referred to his father as the admiral should have been a red flag to him. He should have reigned Tony and his pranks in, stopped his teasing. Most of all, he should have realized Tim didn't feel like his team had his back. Gibbs blamed himself because he cared a great deal about Tim, and he hadn't been there for him when Tim needed him, and Tim had felt like he couldn't go to him for help. He had failed Tim the most by not making it clear he had his back no matter what.


	4. Chapter 4

McGee was staring at the door the doctor had gone through minutes before. He had told Tim he was going to go inform those waiting for an update that he was in a private room. Tim had told him not to bother, that he doubted anyone was out there, but the doctor had been adamant. A part of him wanted the team to come through the door, but a bigger part told him if they did it was only because of professional obligation.

As he waited to see if anyone showed he thought back to what the doctor had told him, which was little. He had told Tim his physical injuries had been dealt with, and aside from some physiotherapy, he would make a full recovery. He had also told Tim he was on a seventy-two hour hold, but didn't really say why. He had simply told Tim he was worried about something and that he wanted him to talk to a therapist at the hospital. Tim told himself it probably just had to do with getting hurt on the job, even though it was usually the agency that gave shrink time for things like that.

Tim was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a soft knock at his door. To his surprise it was Ducky and Jimmy. If there was anyone at NCIS that he felt like had his back it was them so he motioned them in with a small smile. Ducky wasted no time in coming up to his bed side and taking his hand while asking, "How are you Timothy? You gave us all quite a scare back there young man."

He couldn't help the smile on his face growing slightly at the doctors concern. He tried to reassure him, "I'm fine Ducky. Just a little pain and blood loss, nothing I haven't dealt with before."

That was when Jimmy, who Tim thought of as one of his only friends, spoke out, saying, "Tim! How could you down play fainting from pain, or major blood loss for that fact?" Tim laughed slightly at how excitable Jimmy was, but felt slight comfort from what he hoped was genuine concern. Tim just squeezed the other hand Jimmy had grabbed, trying to comfort his friend.

Tim softly spoke, lying to them, "I'm fine you guys. You don't have to worry. The doctor stitched me up, gave me a transfusion, I'll be as good as new in no time." He tried his best to give them a reassuring smile, but it came off more sad and broken to the two other men.

Soon Jimmy and Ducky were leaving with promises to come back the next day, and they were replaced with the crying face of Abby, and the blank face of Tony. Abby ran up to his bedside and draped herself over him in a big hug. Tim still cared a great deal about Abby, he would always love her, even if he was no longer in love with her, so he felt bad seeing tears in her eyes. He rubbed her back as she sobbed into his chest and he wondered why she was so sad. Had something happened since the last time he had talked to her?

Even though he didn't stop hugging Abby he looked over at Tony when he awkwardly cleared his throat. He sent the senior agent a questioning look, pushing Tony to actually say something. "Look, Tim, I just wanted to apologize for today. I should have realized you were hurt, and most of all, I should have let you point out you were." Tony shuffled his feet as he added, "I'm sorry for taking my bad mood out on you."

He wanted to believe what Tony was saying, but he found a large part of his mind telling him Tony was just trying to clear his own conscience, or cover his ass for shirking one of his responsibilities as a senior field agent. He couldn't make himself believe it was because Tony actually cared, but he still didn't want to hurt Tony so he quietly assured the other man, "It wasn't your fault Tony. There is no reason to apologize." Sometimes he cursed his good nature. He wished he was the kind of person that could make someone feel bad, but it was just in his nature to do anything to comfort those around him, be it someone he knows or even a stranger. He took pride in it, but sometimes he envied those without empathy.

Although Tony could tell Tim was lying he smiled at him and nodded. Even though he wanted to believe Tim held no ill will against him, he doubted it was possible. He had used him as a punching bag for to long for a simple apology to fix things, but he swore to himself that he would properly fix things one day, and as soon as possible. He didn't want to think he was hurting his little brother anymore.

After Abby had let Tim go, with the help of Tony, they left the room, both also promising to visit the next day. The people that came in after them surprised Tim a little, although he figured his boss would have to make some sort of appearance he never thought, in a million years, Vance would be walking through the door. He eventually came to the logic that since he and Director Vance had a good working relationship the man had come to make sure he was okay. Vance had told him he had big plans for Tim in the agency, which was one of the reasons Tim had stuck it out this long, so it was probably in the agency's best interest for Vance to check up on one of the things he saw as an asset. The two older men gave Tim a nod in hello and he returned it somewhat awkwardly.

Vance was the first to speak. "McGee, I hope you are feeling better. I was happy to hear you should make a full recovery from your injuries."

McGee smiled at the Director as he said, "Thank you Director. I am feeling better." McGee felt like he should say something else, but could think of nothing to say, so he just looked between his two bosses, waiting for something else to happen, or for someone else to talk. Not long after, Vance excused himself as he told McGee he expected to get a call if he needed anything. McGee simply smiled and nodded.

As the door closed behind the director Gibbs took the seat next to his agent's bed. McGee looked anywhere other than his boss, so Gibbs was forced to get his attention. "Hey, McGee, look at me." From his instinct to automatically listen to Gibbs, McGee found himself looking over at his boss. After staring at his agent a moment Gibbs continued, "You do know that the team cares about you, right?" There was no response so Gibbs added, "Everyone on the team cares about you Tim. If we hadn't been so lost in our own moods things would have never gotten this bad. I wouldn't have let them." Gibbs willed McGee to understand he was talking about more than just earlier that day but knew he wouldn't, that he couldn't. He had let things slip for too long, and now it was going to be a long way back to fixing it. When Tim still made no response Gibbs let out a sad sigh as he said, "I'm not leaving tonight. Whether you like it or not I'm going to show you that the team is here for you, that _I_ am here for you."


	5. Chapter 5

McGee didn't understand why his boss was asleep in the chair next to his bed the next morning when he woke up. He knew Gibbs had said he was going to stay, but he hadn't actually thought he would. After all, what reason could Gibbs possibly have for sleeping in an uncomfortable chair all night? He doubted it was to back up the lie of caring from the night before.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Gibbs stirred, first yawning then opening his eyes. Tim looked away as Gibbs looked toward the bed. He felt awkward around his boss in one on one situation's like this. He never knew what to say, or for that matter what not to say. Gibbs was someone he looked up to, yet someone that intimidated him immensely. He was constantly afraid of messing up in some big way in front of his boss.

It wasn't hard for Gibbs to see that Tim was thinking negatively about himself again. He didn't understand how such a remarkable young man could miss his own remarkability, or how an M.I.T. grad could ever think themself stupid or useless.

It occurred to Gibbs that it was probably his own fault. He had never really shown McGee how amazed he was at his skills on a computer. He had let his own hatred of the things interfere with how McGee saw his own contribution. Gibbs internally slapped himself for not making sure Tim knew how invaluable what he did was to the team. The more he thought about it, the more Gibbs found himself wondering how Tim had put up with him this long, put up with the team.

After Gibbs realized he had been sitting for a while without saying anything he spoke up, asking, "How are you feeling today, Tim?"

There it was again, Tim thought. His boss kept calling him by his first name. His boss never did that. A sudden fear that he was about to be fired crept into the forefront of his mind, making him panic somewhat, as he answered with a lie, "I feel fine, Gibbs."

Gibbs didn't believe him for a second. He could still see the sadness in McGee's eyes, and as he looked closer he could also see fear. Gibbs was silent for a moment, wondering what the fear could be about. When he could come up with nothing solid he went with a best guess, which was that Tim was worrying about his job in some way. Trying to sooth the possibility, Gibbs tried to speak generally as he said, "I guess the team will have to work with a cybercrimes tech for a few days. Everyone will be happy when you're back behind the computer."

Tim simply nodded. He didn't believe for a second that they even saw him apart from the cybercrimes agents. He didn't see how having another one work for them for a while would be any different then he himself being there. After all, he was a horrible field agent. What else could explain him getting jumped by two guys at a crime scene?

Gibbs let out a small sigh as he saw self-doubt cross Tim's face. He didn't know how to make the younger man believe what he was saying. He didn't even know when Tim had stopped believing people's praise, if he ever had actually believed it that was. He knew he rarely praised his agents, but that was just him, he had never thought it would have an effect like this.

He was about to say something again when his phone started to ring. With a huff of annoyance he answered, "Gibbs." It was Vance telling him he was needed at work. Gibbs sighed in resignation as he said, "Ya, I'll be there." Looking over at Tim he tried to smile, "I have to head into work, but I'll be back as soon as I can." He stood up, and as he was straightening his clothes, added, "Expect people to be showing up randomly. They will have to come to visit when they find some time while working on the case." He still got no response, Tim was simply looking at him, and so with a raised finger he said, "I _will _be back later."

Gibbs left quickly after, leaving McGee to himself. His mind was surprisingly blank at the moment, but he contributed that to the pain killers. He found himself simply staring at a wall for a while until his doctor came in introducing him to the therapist he was supposed to talk to.


	6. Chapter 6

The kind looking man extended a hand as he said, "Hello there! I'm Dr. Edmund Burts. I'm a psychologist that works with the hospital." Tim stared at the doctor's hand for a moment before shaking it. The doctor looked to be only a few years older than him, maybe closer to Tony's age, he had short black hair, and black framed glasses. McGee could see he was wearing a black and dark blue vest under his white lab coat.

Without thinking Tim observed out loud, "You wear a lot of black for a shrink." His eyes widened as he heard himself, and biting down on his lower lip became determined to never speak again. He didn't think it was a smart idea to insult the man that had the power to say whether he could leave or not.

Dr. Burts simply laughed though, as he said, "Well, I suppose you're right, but I've never really associated black clothing with anything bad before, aside from funerals." He noticed Tim seemed to be beating himself up over what he had just blurted, so he assured him by adding, "Now, I think it's time we start the assessment, do you have any questions?"

Tim simply shook his head, but when the doctor raised an eyebrow that clearly told him to ask the question on his mind, he spoke up, "What do I have to do?"

The kindly doctor smiled as he answered simply, "Just talk."

Edmund had trouble getting Timothy to talk at first, only ever getting half-truths and single sentences. Dr. Knewmen had warned him about how far into depression the young man seemed to be but he was startled to find the doctors words to be an understatement. When he finally got Tim to start talking a little more openly he found it difficult to keep his own emotions in check. It was true he wasn't as experienced as most at his career level, but he was still one of the best, and with that came the ability to hide all emotion from his face. With Tim though, it quickly became apparent what an immensely good hearted and kind person he was, and when Edmund started to understand the kind of emotional pain the younger man was in, it was heart wrenching. He had never seen a patient with such a low opinion of himself, most of all one who was so completely wrong about it. Even with all the pain he was picking up on he knew there was even more hiding below the surface. If he had any less skill at keeping a professional face he had no doubt he would be at least frowning.

By the time they were done talking Edmund had no doubts that the man was a danger to himself, so after saying goodbye to Tim, he wasted no time in finding Dr. Knewmen and telling him, "There is no way I can in good conscience let that man leave this hospital in the state of mind he's in."

Dr. Knewmen looked at him sadly as he said, "I was afraid you were going to say that."

Edmund let the frown he had been fighting on his face as he said, "I'm recommending he be moved into the psychiatric ward.

* * *

Tim frowned as he saw the doctor leave, a definite sad air about him. He had been picking up on the same thing with everyone lately. Even in the hospital every nurse left with a frown. A horrible thought came to Tim's mind as he realized he was the common thing, that it had been following him around.

* * *

Ducky and Jimmy where the first ones able to find time to go to the hospital, and quickly found themselves in Ducky's old Morgan headed toward it. They both wanted to see Tim, most of all because they wanted to see if they could cheer him up a little. As they drove Palmer held a notebook and pen in his lap that he was going to give Tim so he could still write while being stuck in the hospital bed.

* * *

Tim couldn't handle the fact that he was hurting people around him, that he was making them sad. He felt himself spiraling lower than ever before as he stood up from his bed, and started pacing. When his mind got like this he found it was the only thing he could do to stop the onslaught of emotions, or at least lessen them. He was trying to keep himself from the inevitable break that was headed his way. He knew perfectly well what the result of the break would be.

Timothy's mind was assaulted with every insecurity he ever thought, every sadness he ever felt, as he felt his will finally break. He didn't realize he had started crying until a tear hit his hand. He fell to his knees as he started to sob, grabbing his head and tucking his knees to his chest as he tried to hold himself together. It was too much for him to handle, so when he saw a bottle of pills that had rolled under a counter in the room he grabbed it, and hoped for the best.

* * *

Dr. Knewmen and Dr. Burts were still talking when they were interrupted by a nurse. "Um, Dr. Knewmen, I can't find Mrs. Shoult's sleeping medication."

Dr. Knewmen tried to keep his patience as he said, "Where was the last place you remember having it."

The nurse seemed to think for a moment before lighting up and saying, "I remember. I had it when I changed Mr. McGee's bandage last night. I must have forgotten it when I ran out to assist with a code red." The nurse's smile faltered as she saw pure fear cross both men's faces before they both took off at a run. She simply stood there for a moment bewildered before following after.

Edmund was the first to round the corner and it was to the sight of two men knocking on Timothy's door. The two men looked up at him startled as he skidded to a stop and tried to open the door. With anger he rarely felt, he half shouted, "Dammit! It's locked!" He kicked the door in frustration once before quickly turning toward the two men, "How long have you been knocking?" He was a little relieved when the two men seemed to understand the urgency of the situation.

The older man quickly said, "Only a minute or so."

Edmund swore under his breath as he turned back to the door and took a deep breath before calmly saying, "Mr. McGee, Tim, please open the door." When no response came he added, "If you don't open the door I will be forced to break it open Tim." When still no response came he turned toward the younger of the two strangers and when he nodded they both took a step back, and with one unified kick forced the door open.

As the five people rushed into the room, it was only Dr. Knewmen that wasn't stopped dead in his tracks. Tim was sprawled out on the floor, an empty pill bottle next to his hand. Ducky was holding a hand over his mouth, staring at someone he considered family, while Jimmy just stood there, his mouth open, yet unable to breathe. The nurse had both hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes as she thought it was her own fault this man all the nurses loved was like this. She was playing the blame game, and she was being beaten harshly by it.

Edmund was staring at Tim as Dr. Knewmen went about saving his life. He wanted to move and help, but found he was stuck, unable to even breathe, let alone move. All he kept thinking was that he should have put a nurse on him the second he left the room. That he never should have left Tim alone, not even for a second. It wasn't until he saw the others move that he found he could move again.


End file.
